LETS NOT BE LIKE RABBITS: LETS NOT BE LIKE RABBITS

LETS NOT BE LIKE RABBITS: LETS NOT BE LIKE RABBITS: One thing we as a nation have common with rabbits apart from our propensity to contribute significantly in the population explosion of the p...

Letter from Ajmal Kasab to Indian PM

Faridkot, Okara

2008

 

Dear Sir

Let me state at the very outset that I am a great admirer. Your name which means one who can steal the heart- Manmohan, has really stolen mine. 

As you are an economist and know across the world more for your brains than your heart I would like to help you out.  The help I am willing to extend is that I can really help you reduce the population of Mumbai by half if you let me.

As a number cruncher you would know how much that will help in improving India and making it truly great… the way it should be.

So kindly allow me to visit your beautiful country alongwith a few trained associates. We will not bring much luggage. Just a few thousand rounds and some RDX or some odd few hand granades. That’s all. We will only kill some Indians and when finished will leave via sea route peacefully.

I hope my request is favourably viewed.

 

Best Regards,

 

Ajmal Kasab

Letter from Sarbajeet Singh to Gen. Musharaf

Bhikiwind

1990

Dear Sir

I am an Indian national truly well versed in the art of making bombs and detonating them. Since I belong to you neighbouring country therefore it is obvious that I am concerned about your countrys welfare. As a good neighbor I would like to extend my hand in help by helping you reduce your population in Faisalabad and Lahore.

This will bring down your food bill and the drag that an ever increasing population brings with itself on the progress of a country.

Not only with this bring your costs and the chaos in your country down, it will also reduce the total number of idiots in the world, hence enhancing the average I.Q of the globe.

I hope you will view my extension of this service to you and to your country in a positive light and will grant me permission to carry out my plan.

Hoping for a positive response, I remain

 

Your’s Truly

Sarbajeet Singh

Low Level Operator (RAW)

Never The Twain Shall Meet !

Recently an aunt of mine who originally hails from New Dehli but shifted to Karachi 40 years ago applied for an Indian Visa. She wanted to attend the marriage of her grandniece in India. So she went to a courier company which handles all such cases. Bearing in mind the fact that she had visited India umpteen times during her 40 year sojourn in Pakistan and also keeping in mind the fact that now there was so much of Aman Ki Asha going on she thought it would be a breeze. Also since she is over 60 the situation seemed to be an easy one.

But the powers that be had some surprises in store for her.

Upon submitting her passport and the wedding card she was told that this was not enough. What she needed was the assurance letter of the person in whose house she will stay. This guarantee letter of sorts was supposed to state that she will be taken care of financially as well as socially and that the guarantor will be responsible if she slip etc… or words to this effect. So she asked her real sister who lives in New Dehli to send her one such document. Submitted that guarantee to the courier company and thought that was the end.

It was not. She was told that now she needed a person who could vouch for her sister who had given the guarantee. So again she complied and asked her sister in India to send her  one such document. Now I did not ask her in detail but I believe that the document was notarized etc. When she went to submit this new piece of paper in which her sister had been vouched for she was told that now she needed to bring the original voting cards (equivalent of CNIC) of these two persons.

At this point she completely lost it. She shouted at the person asking for these and told him that she had been born and brought up in India and why would anyone in his or her right mind want to send the original voting cards through courier.

Upon this the courier company rep or whoever was there just mumbled something about trying to make sure that her case is not turned down etc. She said I refuse to ask my sister and her friend to send their original voting cards.

The visa was applied for and yes it did arrive. It was only for one month and I believe she has to report to the nearest police station and all that jazz.

To date citizens of both countries have to report to the police station as if they were hardened criminals. The people at the helm of affairs know fully well that police stations on both sides of the border are not exactly a pleasant experience. But they continue to stick to it.

Then there is the restriction of the number of cities that you can visit. Why do both these idiotic siblings (India & Pakistan) want to restrict their tourism revenue . Just beats me !

One can ask these buffoons at the helm of affairs, how many spies have you caught this way ? That Sarbajeet Singh or whatever got in despite all these filters. I am sure the Pakistani spies can also get in. These hurdles just cause discomfort to the common citizen. They do not stop spies or terrorists or whatever.

Did Ajmal Kasab ask the P.M of India and say “ sir may I enter India with some guns and a few hundred bullets and some friends ? We just want to shoot a few Hindus and that’s all. Promise !”

I am just plain disgusted with the red tape and bureaucracy surrounding the whole issue of visa normalization process. I think the only place as difficult to get in other that India (and vice versa) is probably U.S.A

I was fuming over this when I met a gentleman who narrated his story.

He landed at New Delhi airport. He was booked at a guest house by his hosts (state bank of India)  in Gur Goan. Now Gur Gaon is in some other state for which he did not have the visa. So he went to sleep in the guest house. The manager of the guest house said you don’t have to go to the police station. We have very good relations and our bearer takes all the guests passports and its taken care off.

In the morning the bearer returned from the police station saying that the police had retained the passport and were asking to send this guy down to the police station. Now this gentleman had gone to the office of the State Bank of India for a meeting. To clarify he used to work for a Swiss printing ink company. When he came back he was informed about his passport. So he called somebody up in the State Bank who came and extricated him from the entire mess. He however was about to be arrested on his departure again at the immigration counter. It’s a long story and interesting yet revolting and eye opening at the same time. He missed his PIA flight because of the mess at the immigration counter. Then he had to overstay for some days.

He says when he finally boarded the plane and it took off he felt as if he were a prisoner who had just then been set free.

So what was it again about Aman ki Ashaan that all Indians and Pakis were parroting about ?